God is by my side

God is by my side. This line I have been using a lot quite often. Whether I am going through difficult times or not, I can still say that God is by my side. At the end of the day, I just can't help but pray and say thank you. How? Why? It's hard to say, but through many of my different experiences in life, there is just this feeling that somehow he was there to support me and that there is a reason behind these happenings. 

I still remember my earlier experiences. I remember when I was little, I did not really want to go to church. The time felt like it wasn't moving and boring. But what do I know, I was but a little child. At least for me, the process took some time. I remember one time, I was telling my little brother (who was probably 5 or something) to tell Mommy he didn't feel like going to church. Yeah, I used my brother because I did not want to be scolded. It worked very rarely. Then as I become more conscious about the things I did, and my mom wanting me to participate in Church activities, the more I felt like there was someone watching (in a positive way). It's a weird feeling, it's hard to explain. But many things my pastors would preach would actually get stuck in my head. I believe that my attendance in Church has help shape my personality. For example, swearing, there was a time when I swore a lot. I learned that swearing isn't really a good thing, and yes, I still swear from time to time when in frustration. But I learned that swearing isn't a right thing to do. So  this is what I did when I was younger, whenever I a swear word would come out my mouth, I would say I'm sorry Lord at least 3 to 7 times. Up to this day, if I feel like I have sinned, or done anything wrong, I would say "I'm sorry" at least 3 to 7 times, heck what I would usually do is say "I'm sorry" 3 times in 3 different languages, English, Korean, Tagalog. So that's a quick recap of my early days.

Now let us go to my Teen-Adult days. The paragraph above was the Child-Teen days. Here, my belief is still growing, and becoming a bit more stable. Attending Church was no longer being a big deal. A big help to this was thanks to a great friend I used to have. I still remember the first play I participated in. I was the "King". There was this part of the script where I had to get angry, hit the table hard and stand up. MAN! It's  so memorable, I still remember the congregations reaction. But yeah, one of the most important events that has occurred for me during this period of time was the baptism. This is a baptism you choose on your own accord and you are to be submerged under water. I was hesitant at first, but i gained more confidence and my faith in Him was stronger than ever. I knew I had God by my side. I still remember the speech I gave before (or was it after) the baptism. I talked about Love. What I said went something like this.."You know that feeling when you are so in love with someone, it's a feeling you cannot explain. Well that's how I feel right now." After that speech and after being submerged, I felt refreshed. My past has been buried  and I was born again. A feeling I doubt I will ever forget. 

And now comes my early adulthood to today. I won't lie, I have not been as active as in my Teen-Adult time. But whenever I do participate, it's something I tend to enjoy quite a lot. For example, a few years ago, for Christmas, we would prepare a Filipino Choir and prepare a few songs for our Christmas event. I really miss those days when we would gather weekly to practice as a group. At first, I enjoyed to participate because I love music and love to play the guitar. After the first performance, I realized it was more than that, it was one way for me to serve the Lord. So as the years go by, I would enjoy to perform for the love of music, and for the Lord. I am really sad that the Filipino Choir has somewhat faded. But I plan to bring up something for the next event. Even if it just starts with me and my brother performing. We gotta start somewhere right? 

Outside church however, I was able to implement many God related things to my daily life. Today, I thank God for practically everything. When I get really angry and frustrated, I just don't get frustrated with myself, but I speak with God. Even if I may do it in an "angry" way, I think I do this because I feel like I am connecting with Him and speaking with Him. I also believe that it is thanks to Him that I stand where I am today. The roads were rocky and not always easy, but I know that Jesus was by my side this whole time. I still remember this story I read and heard from a friend. It's a story of a man's dream, where he walked on the beach side. There were two sets of footprints on the sand which represented this person's various stages in life. He spoke to God and asked, where were you when I needed you? He replied and said something like this "During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.". This has marked me big time.

I can go on and on about how my life grew in this manner. But for those reading this, you may already know, if not, now know just how much Jesus plays a part in my life. I know I still have a lot of work to do as his Child, but slowly and surely, I am working through this. After all, He is the reason for where I stand now, and I am happy. No matter what happens, He is my Strength and I know that He is always by my side.

(Abundant Life Faith Church, this is where I go every sunday ^_^)

If one day you pass by this place, feel free to visit, you are all welcome. =)

"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”" - Hebrews 13:5