Night & Day

My motivation and confidence is totally different at night and during the day.

Let us say I am in a certain situation, and something must be done. For example, maybe there is this girl I like and I had this particular interest towards her for quite a while now. Remember, this is an example. So I've reach a point where I think it would probably be time for me to confess. So night has arrived, I would then contemplate for some time, but in the end, my decision would most likely be: Do It! and if it is still night time, chances are, I let her know, by either leaving her a message or something.

But then, once I wake up, I would probably be thinking many negative thoughts such as "why did I leave her a message?!", or "I shouldn't of done anything!", and many more similar thoughts.

However, if that night I said "Alright! I am ready for this! Tomorrow, I will try to set up something to meet up with her and confess!", what would the result be that next morning? Errr...not very good. What would probably happen is that, I would be less confident, thinking that maybe I should not go on with what I have planned that night before.

So for many situations, whether its about love, joining a new sports organization, or even an internship (which currently, I have mixed emotions about, I'm not too sure what to look forward to at the moment), this is how I tend to react to them. At night, I would be full of confidence and motivation to fulfill a plan I had in mind. However, the next morning, its either I lose a big chunk of that, or simply feel some regret if ever I did take action that same night.

Sigh, it can be complicated, but what can I do. Every day we learn new things, and as life go on, eventually I hope to find a way to keep this confidence and motivation to be more stable, without the need to worry about these feelings to fluctuate from night to day.

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot." - Eleanor Roosevelt